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Update Update

I am doing well, though not yet doing good.
My daughter from Eugene was in town most of last week and i spent some time each day with both my daughters -- and they fed me!!.  Younger daughter bore a nice letter from my  oldest grandchild.  How long has it been since recieved a real personal letter with a real signature?  40 years?  I understand that younger daughter has been in communication with "old girlfriend's" son.  OMG!

My neck will be x-rayed again on Tuesday, so maybe i can get rid of the cervical collar or whatever they call my "yolk."  I sleep poorly in it and that is starting to get to me.  I am becoming known for my Hawaiian shirts (which i borrowed from my son-in-law and are the only things which will cover my neck--I look like a combination of   Igor, the "monster," and Elvis.

For a program that offers practically everything and requires practically nothing, my 12-Step program has been keeping more busy than i want to be.  Newcomers are flooding into meetings, i have no idea why.  Opiod crisis?  Spiritual awakening?  I have returned to this fellowship mostly for the emphasis on "prayer and meditation." but ironically, i seem to find both activities more difficult than before.  And as for contemplation-- (sentence left incomplete).

This morning i spent  a little time with some Taoist poetry and some 12-step material that has helped me in the past.  Wonderful  How can i not start every morning this way.

Peace, love, silence, stillness, beauty. acceptance, and emptiness.^

*My invisible bumper sticker reads: ASK ME ABOUT EMPTINESS


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 5th, 2018 09:39 pm (UTC)
I hope you do get rid of that collar..how uncomfortable that must be for you.
Emptiness? (I am asking!)
Aug. 5th, 2018 10:33 pm (UTC)
This is part of a "preparation for the day" by Jos Stabbert, a Taoist teacher and poet:

is my essence.
Let me curb my ego.
No vanity
may enter my thoughts.
No pride
may enter my speech.
No arrogance
may enter my action.
Let me find comfort
in obscurity and anonimity

I am emptiness only
Nothing else.
Everything else is illusion.

When i first read this, i paused. The other aspects of the "Real me" ( stillness, silence, tranquility, compassion. union) seemed right. But emptiness seemed so ... empty. When i am hungry i want to eat, and wheen i feel empty, i want to be be filled.

But filled with what? Left to my own devices, i often try to fill me emptiness with fantasy, or endless games of solitaire, or frivolous and sometimes dangerous activity that has no benefit in form or essence.

Then i remember that Yunus Emre wrote that the only thing separating him from the Friend (Allah) was the word "I" (ego) and John of the Cross who found the Dark night of the soul, and the annihilation of self (ego) to be the ascent to God.

Then there was the story about the Zen master and the college professor. As the professor babbled on from his store of "wisdom" the Zen master began to pour him a cup tea. And he poured, and poured until the tea spilled over onto the table, the floor, and the professor. What are you doing He was asked. The master replied: Yes, it is so much easier to fill an empty cup than a full.

Recently i have experienced all three of these problems which imply that i should abide emptiness until the right filling comes along.

Edited at 2018-08-05 11:19 pm (UTC)
Aug. 6th, 2018 02:12 pm (UTC)
i should abide emptiness until the right filling comes along.

That, my friend is a rather profound thought...a good thought.
Aug. 6th, 2018 06:46 pm (UTC)
:) Thank you, Donna.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )



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