Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

4th Step Notes (Stream Of Consciousness)

"(We) made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."  AA 4th Step

The word "moral" seems odd.  It probably came from The Oxford Group who had an apparant fondness for the word -- they later renamed themslves Moral Rearmament.)  I have no objection to  the term though i would not consider most of what i will be doing here to be moral, immoral, nor amoral.  Some of it, of course, will have moral implications and it  will  all have ethical implications.

I do feel however, as if i am preparing for Holy Reconciliation -- and i have not been to confession in eighty-three years!  Am i up for this?  I was chomping at the bit to get started; but now i am glad that my sponsor is taking my through this step slowly.  We have yet to have our first talk about itl

I am amazed at how little i know myself and how poorly i am prepared for this task.  Dianne was my living journal and my moral compass.  I feel inadequate to talk about myself in her absence.  She was such an important part of  my life, much more than she knew, much more than i knew.

Should i consider my autism as part of my inventory?  I think it has affected my life a lot.  But it is also too easy to try to use it to excuse bad behavior. ( "But i never knew how to interact with people, or to pretend that i knew how to act in public" )  That's bullshit.  I probably just didn't give a  damn.

But reading about the 4th step and talking and liste4ning about in meetings has been rewarding and informative
                                                (to be continued)

Recent Posts from This Journal

  • Levi Yitschak of Berdichov. Where I Wander ... You

    Where I wander -- You! by Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov English version by Perle Besserman Where I wander -- You! Where I ponder -- You! Only You…

  • Update Update

    It It has been a while since i updated this journal. I need to keep betteer track of what is going on in my life. I can't, right now, dignify…

  • Unison Benediction. By Mary Sarton

      Return to the most human, nothing less will nourish the torn spirit, the bewildered heart, the angry mind: and from the ultimate duress, pierced…



Latest Month

December 2018


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow