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Update Update: Health, 12Stepping, Etc.

The annoying cough persists and i discover the true meaning of "dragging one's arse."

In spite of the continuation of persistent coughing, i was able to enjoy Thankisgiving completely!  Older daugfhter's famility invited me, my son and his housemate.  Nice visit, great dinner, and an evening playing "trivial pursuit," which would be one of my favorite games if i played games.  My car's brakelights are out and daughtert and grandson insisted on driving me home, along with at least two meals worth of leftovers.

The mucus running through my respiratory system is dragging me down to almost total exhaustion.  Yesterday i totally surrendered to the tiredness ans spent the day doing absolutely nothing.  Actually, i haven't done much in the last month, which is about how long this thing has dragged on.  I've kept my voluteer committments and made it to  a few twelve step meeting (and fed myself --that's about it.)

The mystic saints who have become my role models never seemed to let illness or discomfort interfere with their spiritual growth.  Many of them seemed to flourish inspite or because of it.
Illness brings out my worst defects: autistic "stimming," self pity, self centeredness, and complaining.  Only by the wildest stretch of imagination can i consider these as  contributory to the discovery of my true self.

More later.

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( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 27th, 2016 02:35 pm (UTC)
Back and forth like the balls of a horse,
Life is bouncing us and's nothing got,
It can only endures our will,
Makes the character stronger of soul,
While recovery is going on... ;)
Nov. 27th, 2016 08:49 pm (UTC)
A month is a long time to be so ill. I hope it hasn't gone to your lungs...maybe get checked again?

But I'm glad you had a good Thanksgiving!
Nov. 27th, 2016 10:30 pm (UTC)
Remembering you Bobby. Please take care of yourself as best you can.
Nov. 27th, 2016 10:33 pm (UTC)
I was much moved and influenced, as a young woman, by Raymond Smullyan's understanding of Taoism and aspects of Zen as just being who you were-- feeling the way you really feel-- without grasping some being or identity that isn't one's own. I suspect that the stimming is a counter-irritant that helps with physical discomfort, and I can't see it as in any way a defect. I think that self-pity and and self-centredness are just ways one feels, though one can unskillfully cultivate or handle them, or take them out on others. And some complaint is useful to one's friends and companions, and desired by them-- it's so much a matter of repetition and style....
Nov. 29th, 2016 04:23 am (UTC)
Dec. 3rd, 2016 03:53 pm (UTC)
Only by the wildest stretch of imagination can i consider these as contributory to the discovery of my true self.

The path to our true selves is paved with both the good and bad, the positive and negative of who we are. Awareness of both these ends of our spectrum - and everything tepid or otherwise in between - grants us true humility, and quite possibly quite closer to the growth inspired by saints of any nomenclature.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )



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