bobby1933 (bobby1933) wrote,

Memorial Service

Two and one half months after Dianne' death, her brother died (August 2nd) from the cancer he had been fighting for three plus years.  He was cremated and his ashes buried without fanfare asy the Goshen cemetary.  This was all according to his instructions though he did allow that a memorial could be conducted for him later provided we all have a beer togeher afterwards.  Later was yesterday.

So Friday morning my daughters, his nieces, picked me up and we drove to Idaho Falls.  The new 80 mph speed limit made the trip quick and pleasant.  We stopped in Pocatello to have lunce with my grandson, a student at the university, and arrived in IF while it was still early.   The BW motel was l;uxurious by my standards (think: Motel 6).  Later we has dinner with B-I-L's daughter and her youngest daughter (Dianne's grand niece) and new husband plus B-I-L's eldest step-son and his girlfriend.  (The stepson was a frighterning child with  very unpromising future; but at 50? he is not at all threatening and it is somewhat pleasant to be in his company).

Sleeping away from home is usually torturous, Friday night was ok but I woke up every hour since i did not bring by CPAP.  We had breakfast with Dianne's favorite nephew, S,  and his tough and lovely girlfriend, P.  S  was the one person i really wanted to see and talk to.  I was not up to calling him when Dianne died, so i delegated that job to my older daughter, and i had not spoken to him since.  I think the breakfast was really good for both of us.

Later we checked out of the motel and, after stopping by Albertson's to buy flowers, went to the cemetary in Shelly where i visited Dianne's grave for the first time.  The grave marker was very nice, especiallly considering how little it cost.  It contains both our names and space to inscribe my date of death when the time comes.

The Olers and the Christensens were not the friendliness of in-laws and Dianne's parents were not the friendliest of spouses.  Her father was an alcoholic and his family always held her mother responsible for his heavy drinking.  This probably accounts. in part, for the fact that Dianne's family is buried in two different cemetaries about eight miles apart.  Dianne and her mother are near the maternal relatives in Shelly.  Her twin sister and father, and now her brother, are at rest in Goshen.
Where her other sister will be buried, i have no idea; probably in Oklamoma City.

We arrived at Goshen cemetary early to clean up the area around the immediate famiy's plots and lay down some flowers.  Soon others arrived and by two pm every body was present.  Y's (BIL)
daughter. T and son H were present.  T's husband E and two of her daughter's, H's son K and H's girlfriend, Y's stepson, C1 and his girlfriend, me and K1 and K2, S and P, and eleven neighbors from the trailor park where Y lived, about 25 of us.  T, through her tears, read the 23rd Psalm, a brief selection from an unfamiliar, but Protestant sounding (probably Mormon) funeral service, and a
brief bio of her father.  It was beautiful!  K (age 8?)  shoveled dirst into the hole where his grandfather's ashes had been placed.  Then each of sprincled a handful of dirt, and  H placed a square patch of sod over the dirst and cleaned the  area with his hands.

Tken we all relocated to the Blue Wave, which appeared to be a combination biker bar and family friendly restaurant where all the adults had huge glasses of beer and every body had something to eat, mostly french fries.  There were a couple of toasts and speeches and we went our separate ways.  What a great bunch of pople! i thought.

We got back to Boise at about 8:30 pm and i went to bed without knowing that the Cubs had beaten the Dodgers.  I really wanted to say "hi" to T's autistic daughter, but she chose not to show up.  Other than that, a wonderful weekend.
Tags: autism, death, personal life

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