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Al Anon


It occurred to me during a meeting a few days ago why my Al Anon sponsor of two months (has so little time passed?!) has not asked me to begin "working" the 12-Steps.  A "stairway" must have a solid floor under it, and i guess acceptance is supposed to be my floor, my "bottom."  I have sought spirituality via  the via negativa, agains the advice of many wise.  I am not saying that 12 step programs have a "positive theology" or any  theology at all; but it does present itself as a practical program whose principles are known by a community of which i am once again part, and therefore, in the know.

Acceptance is the floor on which those principles are built.  Acceptance of what?  Of everything: facts, mysteries, other people, what i don't like as much as what i like, my sponsor's suggestiona, etc., etc., etc.  I think i get that.  I think i will try it.

Yesterday my sponsor gave me the go ahead to start on step one.  I am to define "powerlessness" and recall  times when i have felt powerless.  Unfortunaltely that shoukd be easy.  I am to define "unmanageabilty" and make of list of times i thought my life was unmanageable.  Then i  am to read both AA and Al Anon discussions of step one.  I am on my way..

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Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
bobby1933
Oct. 7th, 2016 03:22 am (UTC)
Guess that means you don't like ma. Goodbye.
nerthus
Oct. 7th, 2016 03:43 pm (UTC)
What is that jayy person's problem?!! Sorry you were hit with such a rude comment. Sounds like the first step involves a lot of reflective thinking and getting a grasp on what constitutes the major difficulties or obstacles to peace in your life. I guess if I started 'step one' my most recent feelings of powelessness was my inability to save my son, and lately I feel powerless over my own morose thoughts, though I know taking control of that IS possible. As far as life feeling unmanageable, it's the same thing again, my own tendency toward learned helplessness and despair and giving up making me THINK things are unmanageable when in actuality I just don't want to put forth the effort and elbow grease required to manage my life more effectively, sigh. I hope this first step will be a helpful experience for you in your own life.
bobby1933
Oct. 10th, 2016 04:08 am (UTC)
I can't make an intelligent about why people do what they do or say what they say, Sometimes i'm uncertain about my own motives. Live journal profiles are often so meager or so obscure that they mean more to the person who wrote them than to the person reading them. I often choose friends or accept friends on sheer instinct. Often my instinct fails me!

I cannot tell if you are in Al Anon. I strongly recommend it. It probably helped save our marriage 35 years agp;
and although my son never quit drinking and using (though he did mature out of some of his riskier behaviors) my relationship with him is much better than it would otherwise be. I would have stayed involved if Dianne had not been so ill. It is good to be back.
nerthus
Oct. 10th, 2016 02:01 pm (UTC)
Well, that jayy person just sent me a private message begging me to beg YOU to unblock him/her, that they meant it as a 'joke' and love you and wouldn't hurt you; some weird joke if you ask me, sigh, I just don't get it. But here I am passing his or her message along, it's up to you if you want to interact with that person again or not. And as for Al Anon, nope I never attended any of those type of meetings.
nerthus
Oct. 10th, 2016 02:06 pm (UTC)
I've pasted jayy's message to me here:
Hey man, tell Bobby for me that I'm sorry for how he took my comments, I was totally not intentionally intending to insult him!! He's a great guy, I love him, let him know to unblock me so I can explain the shizzle-de-dizzle. This stuff happens all the time in showbiz, I wasn't expecting him to take that skit so serious, especially cause I love that guy, we're working towards the same goals.

If not it's cool, I totally understand, but shoot him this for me.

kk man, thanks,
JC
bobby1933
Oct. 10th, 2016 07:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you for passing the message on to me.
I am sorry you had to get involved in this.
I think banning him went a little too far
nerthus
Oct. 11th, 2016 07:21 pm (UTC)
No problem; I still don't get the 'humor' of the original comment, however!
bobby1933
Oct. 11th, 2016 11:32 pm (UTC)
Me, neither - but it had crossed my mind that humor might have been his intent.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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