After last night's AA meeting it was suggested that i had taken money out of the "seventh tradition" (collection) basket. A person had seen me take some bills from the basket, but had not seen me put any in. Then i was reminded by another person that Al Anon members were not invited to share their stories of "strength and hope" in (this particular?) AA meeting.
My reaction to the first person was basically: "Hey, thanks for trying to keep me honest." I did not notice any particular emotional reaction to what i could have taken as an accusation of theft. I thought that this represented a maturity that i could not have attained without Al Anon
My reaction to the second person was quite different. While i respect the traditions of each AA and Al Anon group estabishing its own rules guided by its own "group conscience," i felt as though i had violated the sacred but stupid regimine of some religious cult. That is the feeling that i definitely do not want to have in the places where i am seeking my spiritual awareness and awakening. Still, i plan to return to this particular meeting and keep my mouth shut. The rewards of going are greater than the "rewards" of staying away. A lot of people here seem to be barely clinging to their sobriety and their stories are very valuable to me.
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Tonight i met with my Al Anon sponsor at a Denny's and we talked for two hours over dinner and coffee, after which he picked up the tab. We discussed my reactions to the first eleven chapters of the "Big Book" and it was suggested that i read the "Acceptance Prayer" pp,449ff, on my knees, first thing every morning for the next thirty days. If i miss a day, i am to start agaIn with day one. I smiled and called him my "spiritual director." He replied that he was telling me what he was told by his sponsor.
A good start!!
Equanimity, joy, loving kindness, and compassion to all and each of you,
