Dianne's needs kept me grounded in the material world. Medications and nebulizer treatment were given at scheduled times. Her other needs requited attention throughout the day. There were meals to prepare, tidying up to be done, medical appointments to be kept. In almost every waking hour there was something specific to be done. Earlier in life there was a work schedult, before that school; and before that, i've been told, i had more responsibilities than the typical five year old.
I welcome the emptiness, but i want to make sure that it is spiritual more than psychological or emotional or self-indulgent. I have always had, i think, a streak of laziness which, now, could be allowed to run rampant.
Right now i have about six hours of my typical week scheduled, and i welcome those days when i have committed my time and energy to something.
For the past ten years i have felt it necessary to have a daily schedule of prayer, meditation, contemplation, study, and work; but i have not followed through. For the past three hours, i have been looking at the daily schedule of the Trappist monestary in Kentucky (Gethsemani) in the 1940s. I don't know if i need anything near that rigorous, but it does give me pause. In bed by 8, up at 2 --- that's Aye Emm!!!