bobby1933 (bobby1933) wrote,

Spiritual Meme Question Three.

3--spiritual transitions: how did you transition from one spiritual phase to another? what thoughts and questions and feelings sparked those transitions? were the individual transitions easy, difficult, painful? have you suffered loss of any kind because of a transition? have you faced someone else's anger and/or disappointment and/or scorn for changing? has a change ever destroyed relationships? have you ever felt angry or disappointed or foolish for having believed in something, once you've transitioned away from one set of beliefs?

As a child, i was marinated in a fundamentalist Protestant interpretation of the Judeo-Christian Bible.  Eighty years later i read that same Bible, but in a much different light.  I make a clear distinction between religious change and spiritual change.  I see religious change as "lateral," not necessarily involvine any real change in mind, heart, outlook, or behavior.  Spiritual change can take place when one changes religions, but it can be growth within the faith where one is rooted.  That did not happen for me.  I needed, i think, to leave Christianity to grow spiritually, though i had no idea about that when i left, gradually. between ages 16 (or earlier) and 25 (or later). It was mostly an inner process, not shared with others and not much influenced by intimate others -- though books written by people cerainly played a role.

I tend to over intellectualize everything so a lot of thoughts were involved.  The God of Abraham, Jacob, Jesus*, and Mohammed made no sense to me after about age 11.  He seemed inferior  morally to many people i knew, including some with no apparent religious or spiritual inclinations.  Not until my forties, when i discovered the via negativa could i comforably say the word "God."  At age 9, i felt total bliss, which i did not define as "spiritual" until many years later.  At 16 i had a three month bout with nihilism which i  interpreted as "demonic" but was probably the first signs of depression.  At about 50, i had an experience of sinking into the  floor which scared the hell  out of me, but my wife said it was a "spiritual" experience and that i should have welcomed it.  I have decided that if anything really  odd happens to me again that i well welcome it and see if it has a message.  I pretty much keep these things to myself or within a very narrow circle of acquaintances with a mystical bent.

Thank goodness, i have experienced no social and very little psychological disruptuon due to spiritual changes. I don't widely share these things (except for their behavior consequences which are nearly universally accepted).  I mean, who takes offense when someone they know becomes more human?

Others' beliefs about the unknown are unimportant to  me unless they lead to inhumane behavior.   Like a good autist, i move easily from one obsession, spiritual or otherwise. to the next.

Writing prompts: only ones that would be hard for you to answer please! {FULL!} - the eclectic ecstasy of an ecphorizing eccentric
Tags: authority, autism, religion, spiritual meme
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