Today i made the copay on February's hospitalization and Dianne fell. She was rescued from the floor by three firemen. The worst thing is, i've seen this coming for three days and wondered when, not if, i would have to call for assistance and have to go through the spiels on hospice and assisted living and long term care. Thankfully, we could pay for those things, but Dianne will have none of it. She says i am a worrier, i say she is in denial. I don't know if i am right, but she sure is. It flashed in me today that "worry wart" was one of the cute names my parents had for me while i was growing up.
I become more and more aware how aging is the mirror image of infancy. We reverse the processes of development and the obstacles we overcame as children return to plague us as we move toward the end ofl life. (i think of this as i struggle to untie my shoes and get out of my clothes.) Dianne was born with cerebraL palsy and the right side of her body paralyzed. She and her mother spent six years overcoming these issues plus a summer of therapy at age eleven.. By the time i met her at age 25 a slight limp was the only clue that she had ever had a mobility problem. Now she is showing some of those early symptoms. She falls because her feet "freeze" and if there is no chair behind her she will fall, sometimes one of her legs is injured. This has been the scenario for six of her eight trips to the hospital over the past fifteen years.
Now she is safely in bed and i will relax for the next eight to ten hours.
I become more and more aware how aging is the mirror image of infancy. We reverse the processes of development and the obstacles we overcame as children return to plague us as we move toward the end ofl life. (i think of this as i struggle to untie my shoes and get out of my clothes.) Dianne was born with cerebraL palsy and the right side of her body paralyzed. She and her mother spent six years overcoming these issues plus a summer of therapy at age eleven.. By the time i met her at age 25 a slight limp was the only clue that she had ever had a mobility problem. Now she is showing some of those early symptoms. She falls because her feet "freeze" and if there is no chair behind her she will fall, sometimes one of her legs is injured. This has been the scenario for six of her eight trips to the hospital over the past fifteen years.
Now she is safely in bed and i will relax for the next eight to ten hours.
Comments
Have you ever read Alexei Panshin's Rite of Passage? One of its many value aspects is an unfolding of how much time and effort and mess shield carriers have to put in, financing the hero's adventures. It sounds to me as if Dianne's a hero, which makes her an admirable menace as well as everything else she is.
I haven't read it. It sounds interesting.
Yes, Dianne is a hero.
She does, like most heroes, consider herself one.
Neither of us consider her a menace,
at least not in the sense that armed heroes are.
Shield bearers are commonly conscripts,
and i do not consider myself a "shield bearer" in any case.
But the metaphor does have some relevance.
Of the two of us, i do appear to be the one in need of help,