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Update Update

Dianne fell while standing yesterday.  She was uninjured, and our good neighbors A. and D. were able to lift her into her chair.  Both legs are in braces to give her legs support, but her left ankle has recently been giving her trouble'; she literally has no control over it.  We have restarted range of motion treatments after a lapse of nearly two years.  Funny how good habits seem more easily broken than bad ones.  She may have to ask for surgery to cut or lengthen a tendon.  We hope not.  In the meantime we are being very careful.

I am writing this at 6:30 a.m.  I am usually sound asleep for two more hours; but i have been awake since 3:00.  My mind tells itself that this is because i have been unable to unplug a toilet.  It is common for me to worry unduly about trivia, so that is a believable story.  I suspect that my mind is, as so often it is, mistaken.  I think i am worried about our ability to continue to take care of ourselves and each other in our own home.  Geneticaly, i should have another five or ten good years; but the fact is that i have lived a more careless life than most of my ancestors and my biological age is probably three to six years older than my chronological one,

One of these days, soon, my hit or miss interest in Buddhism and the mystical paths of other traditions will kick in and i will sleep soundly for as long as i need to (which may be as little as three to four hours) and be an excellent, alert, present, compassionate companion and helpmate the rest of the time.,  For now, however, i need the continued moral support of my LJ friends who are almost the only people i communicate with on a regular basis.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 21st, 2014 04:25 pm (UTC)
May sleep, rest, and renewal come for you both!

Blessings and prayers sent your way.
Jan. 21st, 2014 04:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Cathy. I ought to sleep like a rock tonight
Jan. 21st, 2014 05:00 pm (UTC)
I'll visualize that.
Jan. 21st, 2014 05:55 pm (UTC)
Again, i thank you.
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 21st, 2014 05:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Joan.

A couple of months ago a nurse used the word "hospice." Dianne yelled, "no way!" and i nearly had a stroke.

I told myself that if i got old i would not be like other old people. Now i see that i am pretty much like other old people.

We do have some money (a lot by our standards) and we have thus far been able to save a thousand or more dollars each month since retirement, so we will have options when the time comes when we will absolutely have to make a change.
Jan. 21st, 2014 06:39 pm (UTC)
Oh, my, terror. I hold you and Dianne in prayer, as always, for your wellbeing and especially for peace in your hearts and minds. And may the rest of today be a good day, and an easy one, and a comforting one.
Jan. 23rd, 2014 04:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Mary Ann
Jan. 21st, 2014 10:58 pm (UTC)
That must have been frightening and I'm very glad Dianne didn't hurt herself again. Perhaps a bit of at-home assistance would be an option? It's good to hear that range of motion therapy has re-started.
Jan. 23rd, 2014 04:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Donna.
Jan. 22nd, 2014 02:50 am (UTC)
Prayers abide
Jan. 23rd, 2014 04:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Jeff.
Jan. 22nd, 2014 02:53 am (UTC)
I want to say something about your last paragraph, but am lacking the words. You are not meant to be perfect; only God is perfect. You are an imperfect, loving companion, and Dianne is very lucky to have you. Very.

Jan. 23rd, 2014 04:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Regina. Love.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )



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