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Update Update

Dianne is home now thirty hours and things are going okay.  Last night she feared i would drop her when we put her to bed, but i did not sense any real danger.  Today, home health came by to do another evaluation.  She will get physical therapy, YAY, and nurses visits, okay.  It is getting difficult for her to maintain good oxygen saturation levels at the flow rates ordered by the hospital; but her flow rate is so much lower than it has been at home that i have not started to worry.  She is still very weak and tires easily, but we are hoping she will get stronger..

Today, one of Bob W.'s daughters called to tell us that he has been put in hospice care.  He had pneumonia and his body is shutting down,  He can no longer eat, and his wife is by his side.  My feeling of loss is greater than any i have ever had, but the grieving was done six years ago when i could no longer communicate with him.  His journey has been a joyous one, i believe it has also been so (maybe even deeper) during the past six years, and that it will continue to be wondrous in this new phase.  I know i miss him more when i slip back into the world of this and that, the world of right and wrong, so i will try harder to avoid being part of that world.

"Make the world go away,
get it off of my shoulder.
Say the things you used to say
to make the world go away"...
    Hank Cochrane

Mood:  Both grateful and sad.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 16th, 2014 02:43 pm (UTC)
You continue to walk through tough times with grace and graciousness. Remembering Dianne. Also remembering your beloved friend Bob W.
Jan. 16th, 2014 07:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Jeff. I relish your remembrances.
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 16th, 2014 07:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Joan, for the good thoughts and great quote.
Jan. 16th, 2014 04:10 pm (UTC)
Hoping Dianne gets stronger and stronger and that Bob W. has a gentle passage.
Jan. 16th, 2014 07:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Donna, Dianne and Bob W. both deal with things much better than i do, so i know that my worry and grief are both selfish.
Jan. 16th, 2014 10:09 pm (UTC)
I don't think it's selfish to have the feelings you have! Combing and fertilizing them may be, but I don't think you're doing anything of the sort.

It's like saying that having a knee reflex is selfish.
Jan. 16th, 2014 11:22 pm (UTC)
I like that "reflex" analogy.
Jan. 16th, 2014 10:03 pm (UTC)
I celebrate the gifts that these two relationships have been and are to you, and think of you all on your voyage. Or voyages. I never know how many vessels we're on, unless we're talking about the planet.
Jan. 16th, 2014 11:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Mary Ann. Yes to gifts, and very special ones.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )



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