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A Joyous, Difficult Day


Everybody is happier and more relaxed, including Nikki.  Things are as they should be for the first time in over three months, no more twice daily trips to the nursing home for family reunification, no more fretting about whether insurance is going to pay for another week.  She and i will sleep at each others' sides. though we resemble space travelers in cold storage in our non-matching BiPAP and  CPAP.

My days will be full, maybe a little more full than i anticipated.  Dianne is very weak, from my perspective, incredibly weak.  There is nothing requiring movement from the waist downward that she can do for herself or by herself.  I am praying that my energy and my back will hold out.  Tomorrow a Home Health Services representative will come here to assess our needs.  I sure hope she can help!!

I am told that we are given no burden that is too great for us to bear.  I know this is a lie unless it accompanied by a level of acceptance characteristic of a Buddha or a Jesus.  I am far from that.  The day has been filled with frustrated cries of profanity and fears that, inspite of all my efforts, i will allow her to fall.  She is safely in bed now/  In a few minutes i will check her oxygenation level and join her.   Pray for us!!

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
cathy_edgett
Aug. 25th, 2013 04:37 am (UTC)
My prayers are with you, my thoughts. Take care of yourself, and may this path ease as you settle into routine.
bardcat
Aug. 25th, 2013 09:10 am (UTC)
Praying for Dianne and you. I cannot imagine what this is like and sincerely hope things improve day by day. Remembering you each and every day.
reginaterrae
Aug. 25th, 2013 12:38 pm (UTC)
Bobby, my friend, you know you're very blessed to have someone you love very much to grow old with -- but the growing old is the terrible part of it. You're in my prayers.
amaebi
Aug. 25th, 2013 07:19 pm (UTC)
I am in prayer for you both, for healing, strength and peace. And this morning I told our church of your good news and of your ongoing need for prayer, though I hadn't yet read this entry.
e4q
Aug. 27th, 2013 06:52 am (UTC)
no burden etc
I do hope you get the help you need.

Platitudes like 'we are given no burden that is too great to bear' just sounds to me like 'I don't want to help you, and I want for there to be a rationale so I don't have to feel guilty for not doing anything to help'.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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