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Daily Journaling

In the four and three fourths years since i began this journal, i have posted 1855 times, a little more than one post per day.  Many times what i posted were not my own thoughts or words; for example i have posted over 430 poems, almost all of them written by other people.  And though i have posted twelve times in a single day, i have gone a week or more without posting anything.  Still, it is rather a shock to discover that i have been so faithful to the project of keeping this journal, though i have been less than true to its original, spiritual purpose.

I have sometimes posted, always with some hesitation, about my feelings and my family.  Here is an area that i have difficulty understanding.  It is a function of my condition that i find personal experience, either my own or others, rather boring.  I live by preference and, perhaps, necessity in a world of ideas.  Ideas frighten me far less than people do, and i will entertain almost any idea while remaining a terrible host.  Therefore, i am surprised that i got so many comments when i write about "life" and so few when i write about ideas.  My own tendency is just the opposite.  Yet i place much value on empathy and compassion and wish that i could be more comfortable  responding to the real life experiences of others when they choose to share them with me.

I also wonder if i share this journal in order to feed my ego.  My efforts to keep a private paper and pen journal have lasted for a week or less.  The only exception was preparing AA type "fourth steps" where i did intend to share the results with God and one other human being.  On the other hand, the very act of using the word processing function of a computer has been an extremely freeing experience which allows me to express ideas in a way that longhand writing never did.  Once the thoughts get flowing, i think much faster than i write.

I think i need the discipline of a writing schedule.  I write when i feel like it and don't when i don't.  Sometimes i spend hours on the computer, as though i was preparing an essay for publication.  I need to set a time and restrict myself to that time, to just sit down and start typing and see what emerges.  This took about thirty minutes to write.  That seems like a reasonable effort   I wrote from 4:30pm to 5:00 pm, possibly a good time on most days.  Let's see how it goes.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 4th, 2013 11:59 pm (UTC)
I have going on 16,000 entries in LJ-I have been writing in diary form since 1968. We all have our own Voice/inner voice and it takes time maybe years to listen to our Own voice and not be afraid of it-to love ourselves In God/the Lord Jesus Christ. Self acceptance is difficult to achieve at least for me since I am very insecure-In LiveJournal I feel Free to speak my mind/heart-we all have worlds to share we just got to not be afraid of rejection or being misunderstood-we have to love one another-if we disagree so be it.
Also we will always be alone and feel are voice is not heard-that is apart of being human-embrace the pain and pray for divine grace-God bless
Aug. 5th, 2013 04:37 am (UTC)
Re: journal
Yes, thank you.
Aug. 5th, 2013 01:58 am (UTC)
I, too, am surprised at my commitment to this. I find it satisfying, renewing, inspiring. I look forward to your now daily posts.
Aug. 5th, 2013 04:38 am (UTC)
Thank you. We will see.
Aug. 5th, 2013 03:26 pm (UTC)
I have been committed to almost daily posting here for 10 years and most of it is personal stuff and just daily life. It's a way of putting some perspective on things quite often and of knowing I'm not alone in how I think and feel even though it feels like I am. That may not make a lot of sense given your "condition" as you call it but there you have it.
When you do post about more personal experiences, your humanity touches mine and that of others here. And that's beautiful.
Aug. 5th, 2013 05:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Donna. Lots to think about.
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 5th, 2013 05:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Yes, my live journal experience has centered more on my friend's page. I have had maybe ten people in my lifetime that i have considered friends, maybe two surviving flesh and blood friends at present. My friends list now contains 57 usernames, many of which belong to people who do care about me. This is the best thing, and totally unexpected.
Aug. 5th, 2013 06:12 pm (UTC)
Manyy of your posts have touched me and made me think more deeply than expected.

I've loved the poetry you've introduced me to, and the new (to me) translations of the Tao te Ching.

I think your writing practice has been very helpful to me so far.

I am curious about what you will do now.

Aug. 5th, 2013 10:18 pm (UTC)
What will i do now?
Hopefully what you say i am doing already.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )



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