bobby1933 (bobby1933) wrote,
bobby1933
bobby1933

Daily Journaling


In the four and three fourths years since i began this journal, i have posted 1855 times, a little more than one post per day.  Many times what i posted were not my own thoughts or words; for example i have posted over 430 poems, almost all of them written by other people.  And though i have posted twelve times in a single day, i have gone a week or more without posting anything.  Still, it is rather a shock to discover that i have been so faithful to the project of keeping this journal, though i have been less than true to its original, spiritual purpose.

I have sometimes posted, always with some hesitation, about my feelings and my family.  Here is an area that i have difficulty understanding.  It is a function of my condition that i find personal experience, either my own or others, rather boring.  I live by preference and, perhaps, necessity in a world of ideas.  Ideas frighten me far less than people do, and i will entertain almost any idea while remaining a terrible host.  Therefore, i am surprised that i got so many comments when i write about "life" and so few when i write about ideas.  My own tendency is just the opposite.  Yet i place much value on empathy and compassion and wish that i could be more comfortable  responding to the real life experiences of others when they choose to share them with me.

I also wonder if i share this journal in order to feed my ego.  My efforts to keep a private paper and pen journal have lasted for a week or less.  The only exception was preparing AA type "fourth steps" where i did intend to share the results with God and one other human being.  On the other hand, the very act of using the word processing function of a computer has been an extremely freeing experience which allows me to express ideas in a way that longhand writing never did.  Once the thoughts get flowing, i think much faster than i write.

I think i need the discipline of a writing schedule.  I write when i feel like it and don't when i don't.  Sometimes i spend hours on the computer, as though i was preparing an essay for publication.  I need to set a time and restrict myself to that time, to just sit down and start typing and see what emerges.  This took about thirty minutes to write.  That seems like a reasonable effort   I wrote from 4:30pm to 5:00 pm, possibly a good time on most days.  Let's see how it goes.


Tags: ego, personal life, words
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 9 comments