bobby1933 (bobby1933) wrote,

Anger Mismanagement

Tonight i ran into Albertson's to get some treats for Dianne, and when i came out there was a car behind mine. idling.  I sat in the car for what seemed like a few minutes, then turned my lights on.  Finally, i began to slowly back up and got a warning horn blast from the idling car.  I stopped but the other car continued to sit there.  So I started to back out again and got another horn blast.  Suddenly i was in a rage, i cursed loudly and might have rammed the other car had it not moved.  I had no idea where that came from!

I was once a very angry human being and knew that i had to own the anger rather than blaming on the idiots and evil folks who made me mad.  The targets included my spouse and children.  I thought i had surrendered that anger long ago.  I know the difference between giving up anger and stuffing it and was pretty sure that i had done the former.

I also totally ignored my "ninety second rule" which says i wait a minute and a half before responding to a negative stimulus (although i do allow myself to move out of the way of falling objects).  At least i was almost immediately aware of my outburst and did not have to have it called to my attention by someone else (which was once the case).  It has been a very long time since something like that has happened and i hope it will be a very long time before it happens again.
Tags: anger, ego, personal life, spirituality
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