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Anger Mismanagement

Tonight i ran into Albertson's to get some treats for Dianne, and when i came out there was a car behind mine. idling.  I sat in the car for what seemed like a few minutes, then turned my lights on.  Finally, i began to slowly back up and got a warning horn blast from the idling car.  I stopped but the other car continued to sit there.  So I started to back out again and got another horn blast.  Suddenly i was in a rage, i cursed loudly and might have rammed the other car had it not moved.  I had no idea where that came from!

I was once a very angry human being and knew that i had to own the anger rather than blaming on the idiots and evil folks who made me mad.  The targets included my spouse and children.  I thought i had surrendered that anger long ago.  I know the difference between giving up anger and stuffing it and was pretty sure that i had done the former.

I also totally ignored my "ninety second rule" which says i wait a minute and a half before responding to a negative stimulus (although i do allow myself to move out of the way of falling objects).  At least i was almost immediately aware of my outburst and did not have to have it called to my attention by someone else (which was once the case).  It has been a very long time since something like that has happened and i hope it will be a very long time before it happens again.

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
fluffyblanket
Aug. 3rd, 2013 09:09 am (UTC)
Errare humanum est.
You showed remarkable forebearance.
bobby1933
Aug. 3rd, 2013 05:06 pm (UTC)
forebearance?
Not really. But thank you.
amaebi
Aug. 3rd, 2013 11:38 am (UTC)
:( What a nasty feeling. I'm sorry.
bobby1933
Aug. 3rd, 2013 05:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you, i'm okay now.
Writing about it was part of the solution.
(Deleted comment)
bobby1933
Aug. 4th, 2013 04:48 am (UTC)
What can i say? In retirement after 36 years of teaching. i also feel voiceless and less and less interesting, even to myself. With Dianne in rehabilitation, i feel even more disconnected than usual. LiveJournal has been kind of a lifesaver because it allows me to blow off steam in front of a few sympathetic, intelligent listeners. You must write, or teach, or join the Presbyterians or something.
pondhopper
Aug. 3rd, 2013 03:09 pm (UTC)
Lots has been happening in your life and you're edgier than usual. Be kind to your self and recognize your humanity.
bobby1933
Aug. 3rd, 2013 05:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Donna.
sabrinamari
Aug. 4th, 2013 12:05 am (UTC)
I concur, friend.
(Deleted comment)
bobby1933
Aug. 3rd, 2013 05:18 pm (UTC)
Re: making of a career
LOL! I had totally forgotten that scene.
Thank you.
(Deleted comment)
bobby1933
Aug. 3rd, 2013 06:45 pm (UTC)
Sorry, i misnamed you in referring to your comment.
(Hugs back)((((Joan))).
(Deleted comment)
bobby1933
Aug. 3rd, 2013 05:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
bardcat
Aug. 3rd, 2013 04:44 pm (UTC)
What do you think the teacher meant when he said, "Be angry and sin not."?
bobby1933
Aug. 3rd, 2013 05:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Ephesians, right? I can't remember if modern scholars say that's Paul or not? Fortunately there is more: "Don't let the sun go down on your wrath." which makes the meaning clearer. The sin is holding on to it, and acting inappropriately because of it. I loved Joan's (pondhopper's) comment. The character played by Kathy Bates did not act the way i hope i would act, but her response was thought out and considered the consequences of her action.
bardcat
Aug. 3rd, 2013 05:41 pm (UTC)
Yes, I found great delight in the scene with Kathy Bates!
bobby1933
Aug. 3rd, 2013 06:43 pm (UTC)
Sorry, i misnamed Joan's username: its jblindsight.
madman101
Aug. 3rd, 2013 09:19 pm (UTC)
When in a stressful situation, I can do a few things. If I can't gracefully exit, I may gulp air and hold breath and count to ten. This frees the parasympathetic nervous system, and is the same thing i use to help "overcome" serious morning fatigue - (although it can leave a headache later).

Usually, dealing with jackasses as if one is feeling perfectly secure - as if he owns the land, or has a heater in his pocket - works, esp. cuz it allows one to remain creative and mentally agile. However, there are reasons why evolution has given us anger - and some people and some neighbourhoods understand or respect nothing else - so sometimes, anger is a fine resort. If one chooses anger, best to merely fake it, while being secretly at peace and conniving. ha - well -- that's all words. No one situation is the same.
bobby1933
Aug. 4th, 2013 12:34 am (UTC)
Yes. But evolution has gone off the track frequently enough that we need to handle its gifts quite cautiously. We may yet be the authors of our extinction and anger may play some small role in that.
madman101
Aug. 4th, 2013 02:01 am (UTC)
evolution is always off track and on track - it is chance - but what we can agree on is that it has never faced what it faces today
sabrinamari
Aug. 4th, 2013 12:03 am (UTC)
Thank you for reminding me that relapse is normal, and we are all fallible humans. It's helpful to see this in others I respect.
bobby1933
Aug. 4th, 2013 12:35 am (UTC)
Thank you, and thank you. :)
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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