For several days i have been reading the diary of Etty Hillesum, a Dutch Jew whose growing spirituality enabled her to face the destruction of the Dutch Jews by the Germans in the early 1940. I was thinking of the many things that prevented me from closing the distance between her (as writer) and myself (as reader),
the main factor being the contrast between her lustiness and my lack of sexuality. So i interuppted my reading to put Dianne down for a nap. She ordinarily does not nap so i worried, was she ill? was she angry? was she depressed? No she said she was just sleepy. Then she added that she never gets angry, just frustrated and she takes her frustrations out on me because i am available. Then i said maybe she deserves a spanking and i patted her lightly on her buttocks. She waid whe wasn't into spanking but touching is nice. Suddenly i felt a new energy. Blood seemed to rush into places that have deprived for many years. We embraced like young lovers. It is an hour later and i still feel the energy and passion. I will kiss her tenderly when she awakens.