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Assdragging

I am most of five days home from hospital and mind and body are firing on two cyliinders at best,  Yes , i know that i am seven months older than at the time of my last hospitalization, now closer to 79 than 78 and probably taking each hit a little harder than the one before.  Yes, i know i had major surgery and recovered in the hospital only a little over two days.  Yes, i know i am, by nature, lazy, preferring peace to adventure and silence to noise.  Yes, i know i have periods of mild depression, despite medication, and i could be in the nadir of a cycle.  And yes, i could be fighting the first lung infection i have had to deal with in a very long time.  I am writing now, primarily to see if my mind is functioning as poorly as i imagine it is.

On the other hand, Dianne finds me, she says, more present and less "aspergery,"  a gift for her, and for me too if i would know it.  (Maybe lacking the strength to go "elsewhere" helps me be more consistently here.)

Many of my friends here on lj have limits on their physical activity; others carry emotional burdens (sometimes in addition to the physical ones) which would drain me of all energy,  Yet their minds continue to perform brilliantly and i see their strengths far more than their weaknesses when they write.  Yet weakness is all i can give you today.  The desire for your peace is there, and love, for sure, and compassion, i hope, and i will take my share of whatever joy you project. 

Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
bobby1933
Apr. 28th, 2012 05:17 am (UTC)
Re: May you rally quickly
Thank you. :)
pondhopper
Apr. 27th, 2012 09:11 pm (UTC)
I had to go back and read some to find out what happened to you, my friend. I've been away and missed so much, it seems.

You give no weakness. You give what you can and even if it seems small to you, it is a Good Thing.
Rest assured of that.

I hope you continue to heal!
bobby1933
Apr. 28th, 2012 05:18 am (UTC)
Thank you :)
bardcat
Apr. 27th, 2012 09:15 pm (UTC)
Pullin' for you friend. I hope you gain strength with each passing day. I know you are sustained by much love and care. Jeff
bobby1933
Apr. 28th, 2012 05:18 am (UTC)
Thank you, Jeff.
madman101
Apr. 27th, 2012 09:37 pm (UTC)
you are a great LJ friend!

never feel obligated

aspergery people rock!
bobby1933
Apr. 28th, 2012 05:19 am (UTC)
Thanks, man!
bork
Apr. 27th, 2012 09:46 pm (UTC)
Get better!
bobby1933
Apr. 28th, 2012 05:20 am (UTC)
Thank you :)
sabrinamari
Apr. 27th, 2012 10:49 pm (UTC)
I send you my love and gratitude for all the beautiful posts you write.

You add things that are....hmmmm...sublime...to my life.

I love the poetry you share here, and the words of wisdom, and the reflections of others who push me to think deeper, wider and sweetly wilder.

Thank you, new friend.
bobby1933
Apr. 28th, 2012 05:20 am (UTC)
Thank you :)
abendstille
Apr. 28th, 2012 04:14 am (UTC)
I´m sending you and Dianne healing and peace and lots of love for a speedy recovery, Bob!
bobby1933
Apr. 28th, 2012 05:21 am (UTC)
Thank you, Mia.
cathy_edgett
Apr. 28th, 2012 05:39 am (UTC)
I find strength and courage in your post. I had no idea you were suffering, and yet, beauty is what comes through here.

I am in Edinburgh, and the sun is rising on a clear day. Sunlight is pouring in through the windows of our hotel, and I am filled with joy. I send Joy your way!! Blessings, and Health, Cathy
bobby1933
Apr. 29th, 2012 05:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Cathy.
i_baster
Apr. 28th, 2012 07:03 am (UTC)
I find it hard to believe that anybody in the world(or beyond) never feels a little depressed or weak or *insert negative word here* at some point. You know I often look at the tires on cars in parking lots and think to myself "those tires are brand new and the tires on my car are about ready to blow out on the interstate....how lucky those drivers must be" They have new tires but who knows what bad things they have to cope with etc.

I wish you well and hope that you ,and selfishly I as well, get those new tires soon... so to speak.

bobby1933
Apr. 29th, 2012 05:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you, my friend
baron_waste
Apr. 28th, 2012 12:45 pm (UTC)

Your mind seems to be processing just fine. Function, well, that can be affected by depression &c., as I know all too well, but you're forming coherent sentences, so you're actually doing better than many college graduates!

bobby1933
Apr. 29th, 2012 05:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) (but i AM a college graduate)
showingup
Apr. 29th, 2012 07:11 am (UTC)
You're still producing posts that are well worth reading.

Perhaps being more present is something you can revel in while you recover?
bobby1933
Apr. 29th, 2012 05:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )

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