bobby1933 (bobby1933) wrote,
bobby1933
bobby1933

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

Dreaming Anxieties

A couple of nights ago i had a vivid dream.  It is unusual for me to remember a dream; i almost never think about it a day or two later.  Almost all my dreams have a common theme: I am chasing something i can't quite catch or fleeing something i can't quite get away from.  This was a "chasing" dream.  I was somewhere, with somebody(s), doing something, and looking for something (I think it was my wife and kids -- so i was younger)  I "knew" where i wanted to go, but it would be a very long walk (hundreds, if not thousands, of miles) and i had no resources, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, nor (especially) material.  I could not seem to get started in the right direction and i kept losing stuff--my sleeping bag, my backpack, my wallet, (i think) my shoes), perhaps even my clothing.   Every time i took notice, something else was gone.  I was frustrated and on the edge of dread.  There was something odd, something surreal, but it was not a dream.  It was more like being on another planet or in a different dimension, maybe a "parallel" reality.
I awoke several times during the night, as i usually do, and each time it was from this same dream.  Very similar to my other dreams but very different.  "The edge of dread" was less sharp than usually.  I knew that i was afraid but that i was not afraid of being afraid.  I think the dream might have something to do with my "spiritual search," but i have no idea what.

"Wife and kids" (not Dianne and E and K1 and K2) may symbolize "home."  The "losses" seem pretty straight forward.  The aimless wandering and wondering might be a suggestion that i get more disciplined.  Whether or not that is what the dream was about it seems like a good idea.  Everyone else seems so purposeful.

"...But i alone am dull and stupid.
Oh, i drift like the waves of the sea,
Without direction like the restless wind.

Everyone else is busy,
but i alone am aimless and depressed
I am different...."
  --Tao Te Ching, 20.

But am i also being nourished by the great mother?
Yes, i think i am.
Tags: personal life, spirituality, tao te ching
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 6 comments