April 22nd, 2015

Update Update -- To Hospital Again

After Dianne fell on Sunday, she became increasingly immoble.  She did not complain of weakness, nor seem unclear, so be both thought that this was a case  of "frozen feet" which would resolve itself shortly.  At six pm yesterday she tried to rise from a chair and could not do so.  She waited a few minutes and tried again.  For the next three hours we both struggled to get her to her feet.  It was as though her butt was glued to the chair and her feet to the floor.  We agreed together that we needed assistance and called 911.  The firemen and EMTs found her to be incredibly weak will very low blood oxygenation levels (a few hours earlier her oxygenation level had been good).  At the ER she was found to have a "raging" infection and also pneumonia.  At about one am yesterday the hospital admitted her as a patient and she was put in room on a medical ward around five am. (I was home and asleep by then.)

Today she is feeling stronger and better, but still unable to walk.  An unexplained heart murmer is under investigation.  OT and PT people have seen and made a couple of attempts to get her on her feet.  They seem very optimistic; but we've been through this enough times to know that seeming optimistic is part of their professional responsibility.  I will feel much better when i see her take three or  five steps in a row.

I am strangely at peace with all that is going on.  I am "detached from my prefference" that she have a speedy and successful recovery.  This apparebt serentity in the face of "what i cannot change." could be from spirituality or from autism.  I sure hope it is the former.  But either way it helps me be more present.  I can show my love for her more by being less obsessed with her and her struggle (and its outcome).