April 20th, 2015

Update Update

Today i made the copay on February's hospitalization and Dianne fell.  She was rescued from the floor by three firemen.  The worst thing is, i've seen this coming for three days and wondered when, not if,  i would have to call for assistance and have to go through the spiels on hospice and assisted living and long term care.  Thankfully, we could pay for those things, but Dianne will have none  of it.  She says i am a worrier, i say she is  in  denial.  I don't know if i am right, but she sure is.  It flashed in me today that "worry wart" was one of the cute names my parents had for me while i was growing up.

I become more and more aware how aging is the mirror  image of infancy.  We reverse the processes of development and the obstacles we overcame as children return to plague us as we move toward the end ofl life. (i think of this as i struggle to untie my shoes and get out of my clothes.)  Dianne was born with cerebraL palsy and the right side of her body paralyzed.  She and her mother spent six years overcoming these issues plus a summer of therapy at age eleven..  By the time i met her at age 25 a slight limp was the only clue that she  had ever had a mobility  problem.  Now she is showing some  of those early symptoms.  She falls because her feet "freeze" and if there is no chair behind her she will fall, sometimes one of her legs is injured.  This has been the scenario for six of her eight trips to the hospital over the past fifteen years.

Now she is safely in bed and i will relax for the next eight to ten hours.