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January 29th, 2014

Paradoxical Release

"When you accept the state of being a stranger, you are no longer a stranger. I have been an exile when everything around me seemed strange and everybody was a stranger. Once I accepted that I didn’t have to belong and I didn’t have to be part of the world, then I was free to be part of it. There was a paradoxical release of the spirit. The world became mine when I was no longer holding on to it.”

–Satish Kumar

If you don't know where you're going - Paradoxical Release

Thanks to helios137
Anyone who is aware of my total sense of incompetence where machinery of any kind is concerned and my special idiocy in the face of ports, jacks, and the cords and wires that connect them, will be amazed to learn that i have disconnected my phone service (which was very unreliable and sometimes made access to the internet difficult or impossible) and reconnected my computer.  It was all a matter of not disconnecting one cord until i knew exactly which other one was its most logical replacement.  It was just a matter of seeing the logic and following it carefully.  I don't know why i cannot apply that logic more often?  Autism, i guess.

Anyway i have been able to "unbundle" my phone from my internet connection.  Both services are improved, and my bill(s) will be slightly lower, and, for the time being, i will not be going off line.

Other things are going slowly, and relatively well.  Life is struggle, but so far not a meaningless nor "unsuccessful" struggle.  I think my mind is becoming calmer, more able to stop thinking on command, more suited to a meditative state.  I am also better able to interpret Dianne's silence as chosen and positive, rather than as a failure to respond or thrive.  I am still here, for the time being anyway.  Thanks to those who bid me bon voyage.
Love, peace, comfort, and joy to everyone.



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