July 31st, 2013

Attitude Of Ingratitude.

Last night i bent over to pick up some litter outside the nursing facility; as i rose i hit my head hard (HARD) against a projecting brick.  The pain was intense.  A few seconds later i was fine, no pain, no dizziness, no blood, a slight bump which i am aware of only when i touch it.  How lucky i was.  But that did not cross my mind.

I awoke this morning, took off my CPAP, threw my legs out of bed and stood up, not giving this a second thought, taking it for granted.  Dianne, in the meantime, was struggling mightily to accomplish far less.  We fear she will never again be able to just stand up without giving it a second thought.  Millions of people have the same or similar difficulty.  No thanks expressed for my mobility; why should i?

Walked  around my adequate, though  messy home, which we own, had a good cup of coffee and prepared my breakfast from a well stocked refrigerator and pantry and enjoyed a quiet morning.  (The mess could be cleaned up in a few hours).  I even meditated a little without considering for a moment my good fortune to have both  the leisure and the inclination for that.  After all, its ME meditating, not the Divine guiding me.

I got a haircut where the shops owner lost a teenaged daughter to drowning over the weekend.  I silently prayed for the family but did not include a prayer of thanks that my children or grandchildren have suffered no such fate despite the excessively risky behavior of at least one of them.

Dianne made very good progress in physical therapy,  But i did not express thanks to her or to her therapist.  They were just doing their jobs.

As a matter of fact, according to the masters, i should be grateful for every moment, for every person, for every being, and for everything.  All are gifts, and all are exactly what i need, whether i am aware of that or not..

I will be grateful, now, and worry about my awareness later.