March 27th, 2012

15 things to give up to be happy.

"1. Give up your need to always be right.... Whenever you feel the “urgent” need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” asks Wayne Dyer. What difference will that even make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you, situations, events, people, etc., whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street, and just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or what you don’t have; for what you feel or what you don’t feel........"

"4. Give up your self defeating self talk..." Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you, especially if it’s negative and self defeating.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or can not do, about what is possible or impossible.... Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining...." 

"7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events, people that are different than you. We are all different but we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved, we all want to be understood… We all want something, and that something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others...".

"9. Give up your resistance to change....".

"10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people, events that you don’t understand as being WEIRD and try opening your mind, little by little. You know, minds only work if open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exit, you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into places.

“The only fear you should fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses...".

"13. Give up the past...." 

"14. Give up’s not something that is impossible. You get better and better at it in time, by practicing… The moment you detach yourself from all things, and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them, because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another ( attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less. Where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things, without even trying too. Such a precious thing. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations...." .

via ljapp
wisteria - Mmmmmmm I really like this list and will do my best to do it. 15 things to give up to be happy.

uch thanks to gwisteri  and  sabrinamari

Test how self-compassionate you are

"Average overall self-compassion scores tend to be around 3.5 on a 1 - 5 scale... 2.5 - 3.5 indicates you are moderate (in self-compassion.)  Remember that higher scores for the Self-Judgment, Isolation, and Over-Identification subscales indicate less self-compassion....(These subscales are automatically reverse-coded when your over all self-compassion scale is calculated".

I am surprised that my score was not higher.  I hate to think what it might have been a few years ago!  I want more self-acceptance especially in the areas of Self-Judgment, Over-Identification (must find out what that means*), Mindfulness, and Self-Kindness

Self-Kindness                     2.60
Self-Judgment                    3.20
Common Humanity             4.00
Isolation                             1.25
Mindfulness                        3.00
Over-Identification                3,00

Overall score                       3.26

Test how self-compassionate you are

Over-Identification = the idea that my failures and accomplishments, my acceptance or non-acceptance by others, my thoughts, my feelings, and my appearance are me.