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February 3rd, 2012

Lojong---yeah, right...

Don't vacillate.

Commentary: If you train in awakening compassion only some of the time, it will slow down the process of giving birth to certainty. Wholeheartedly train in keeping your heart and mind open to everyone.

Lojong slogan 53, The Compassion Box, Pema Chodron

[59 Buddhist Teachings on Living Life with Fearlessness and Compassion, translated by the Nalanda Translation Committee, with commentary by Pema Chodron]

I thank sabrinamari for this, and for what follows:

******

"This is a really hard one for me. I vacillate a lot. Sometimes I'm able to stay open to others. Others I just want to shut down, crawl away and indulge my desire to feel angry and build an invisible, impermeable twenty-foot wall around myself.

It's difficult to stay consistently open.

It's difficult to stay consistently loving.

It's difficult to stay consistent.

Talking to my friend the other day, I spoke about how the one thing I felt really good about recently was the way I'd managed my mouth. "I've managed not to say ugly, counterproductive things to the many people around me," I reported.

But then the actual truth hit me and I was forced to add,"...but if one more thing had gone wrong on a couple of those days---if I had, say, bounced a check---it would have all gone to hell immediately and I would have vomited rage everywhere."

My friend just chuckled and said knowingly, "Yeah, I know just what you mean."

And he does (I've seen him do it). That really helps.

But man, vacillation is my middle name.
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Life of Joy - Lojong---yeah, right...

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