August 26th, 2011

Writer's Block: All by myself

What’s one thing that you love to do all by yourself?
Which is worth more, a crowd of thousands,
or your own genuine solitude?
Freedom, or power over an entire nation?

A little while alone in your room
will prove more valuable than anything else
that could ever be given you.


I have known since early childhood that, compared to other people i know,
it was much easier for me to be alone,
and much harder to be a part of any group.
and i have preferred solitude in nearly all my activities
for as long as i can remember.

Intellectually i know that this is really wrong,
that relationships are at the core of what is is to be human.
But i "don't do" relationship
It is painful being "part of the continent."

A friend has written about his autism,
calling it "a painful gift."
i understand the painfulness
and i also think i understand the gift.

Fortunately i found one woman
whose grace and tolerance and love
would not allow me to destroy my relationship with her,
and that has also been a painful gift,
But here the gift is so much greater than the pain
that i am slowly learning
to "do" relationships.

But i still need to be alone to pray.