May 15th, 2011

I Will Not Die

I will not die before I've lived to see that land;
firm as the earth, your own promise.
I'll not let go until I've held it in my hand;
that word of hope, and gentle laughter.
I will not rest until your dawn is in my eyes;
that fragile light, new like morning.
I will not sleep before I've wakened to that sunrise;
and all the world knows your glory.
For your right hand has delivered us from death;
you have regarded our tears,
you who are goodness and grace.
And I will breathe in that mighty wind of justice;
I'll know my name and rise up singing.
And I will call until my words bring on the thunder;
washed in that rain, then I'll know you.
You will stand up for the poor and the needy;
you'll break the chains that bind your people.
For you are home for the lost and the desp'rate;
Your strong right hand goes before us.
For your right hand has delivered us from death;
you have regarded our tears,
you who are goodness and grace.

BY: Tom Conry

I Will Not Die

I am sorry i don't have an audio to share.  This was the closing hymn at Mass last night,  Some of you may know about the
low regard in which i hold hymns.  Even accepting that hymns are love songs, and love songs always exaggerate, i know that lyrics, and perhaps even peoetry, are right brain products and involve the right brain of the listener as well, by passing logic and reason.  Therefore hymns are subtle brainwashing techniques which teach by music things we might not want to learn or except in prose.

(Edit: This hymn is not only beautiful, it contains a message that i want to claim as mine. It is based on Exodus 34 of the Old Testament/Torah.  So i read Exodus 34 several times to see what might have inspired such a beautiful.  Its mostly a conversation between a very immature god and his very immature follower.  The follower is promised the promised land (thus the first line of the hymn) then there is a sort of "i like you more than you like me" argument, followed by a second giving of the ten commandments (not the ones the fundamentalists are always screaming about preserving).  All in all, it was about as inspiring as a sandbag in a drought.  It amazes and thrills me how people can build so much that is good on such thin threads of inspiration!)

Writer's Block: Say goodbye to Kansas, Dorothy

If you woke up surrounded by doctors who told you that you'd been in a medical experiment since birth and that your entire life had been a dream, how do you think you'd react?

Well, first, i would want to know if the experiment is now over or if the the doctors' words to me were just another stimulus to test my reaction, and if the experiment was now over, how would i be disposed of,.

Then, since my level of spiritual maturity is very low, i would probably become very angry, fearful,  with feelings of incompetence and, probably, every other negative feeling a person could have.  I would wonder how i could have been so stupid that in 78 years, i had not caught on to what they were doing.  Then i would want to know   I would wonder about all the other people that had seemed to me to be real and who had pretended that i was real.  Then, if given a chance, i would begin to plot my revenge against the experimenter(s),

But i like to hope that i would have the maturity not to act this way,  I have been a part of medical studies, and have somewhat of a scientific mind myself.  I would want to know why the study was conducted, and decide how i should react based partly on the answer.  Then i would want to know what the results were, what they found out, and whether the information would be used for what i consider a good purpose.

Then i would want to know what the nature of the world and universe, actually is, how it is similar to and different from the universe that i was presented with inside the experiment.  Do human beings really exist?  What are they really like?  Am i a human being?

If i was really mature, i hope i would act the way Chuang Chou would act.  First of all, real human beings don't react, they act.  Finding that i am not who i thought i was or that the world was not what i thought it was would simply  mean that i have different data to work with.  What is the difference, after all, between dreaming i'm dreaming and dreaming i'm awake?   Since no human being is truly awake until she or he has become spiritually awakened, this information (about the experiment) would be of only minor and temporary interest,  Indeed, have i been dreaming my life, and if so, am i now dreaming about being told by doctors that my life has been but a dream?  Either way, it is probably time for me to wake up.