September 20th, 2010

4th Stepping

My fourth step work has been in standby mode for over a week.
Next topic on the agenda is "guilt."
I am really resisting looking at things i feel guilty about.
A lot has to do with the way i treated Dianne over a twenty-five year period
The last 24 years have been better, but old habits keep popping up.
Dianne's need for care is my second chance to do right by her--
but, My God, at what cost to her!

Evelyn Underhill - A light for my Path

Evelyn Underhill - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Read her at 16, thought i understood her.
Read her at 75, was sure i didn't understand her.
I am reading Practical Mysticism,
which she wrote for me in 1914,
while she could remember that she had been an agnostic.
and then a neoplatonist,
but before she had advanced  far into Anglo-Catholicism.
Thus this is a perfect guide for me to follow.
Drawing mostly on Christian sources,
it is devoid of theology and Christology.
It is, as the title says, practical.

If i follow this guide
and the Tao,
I will simplify my life,
i will ignore my ego,
i will put my treasure where my heart is
i will "turn it over."
i will pray,
i will meditate.
i will return to innocence
and i will love.

And perhaps i will find union with the "flux of life."
and with the Whole.

I have begun!