January 5th, 2010

Personal life

It is now a lunar month since Dianne went into the hospital with her breath nearly gone.  She will be home in....a couple of days.... a week...ten days?  Surely she is at least half homeward bound.  The bottom lobe of her left lung still sounds too quiet, the pneumonia must be hanging in their inspite of being "bathed" in antibiotics.  Her rehab is going well, but she gets terribly tired.

I have treated the time like a month's vacation--this in spite of the fact that I have no idea how to vacation and vacations have always turned out to be depressing.  The slight progress I have made spiritually has helped a lot; but it has also made me realize how much of an autist's time is wasted in perseveration activities.  (I will have to do an entry devoted entirely to :"stimming" (the persistent repitition of activities that seem ridiculous or obsessive to most people)).

I spent some time watching movies that Dianne probably would not enjoy.  I like most of the movies she likes; but she likes very few of the ones I like (including some of my favorites, like "Chinatown").  I watched "Babel" (big disappointment),  "Rashomon" (great, but for reasons I did non suspect.  I loved the ending, sloppy sentimentality or not) and "Big Fish" (fun to watch, good time waster also a sloppily sentimental but enjoyable ending).  Next on my list is "Mongol"

I visit Dianne each afternoon and evening; but last night she called to tell me not to come. she was too tired and would probably go to sleep early.  I intended to do some spiritual reading and meditation, but ended up stimming instead.  Much of my stimming consists of rereading my live journal posts and playing solitaire or minesweeper on the computer.  Absolutely no discipline!  I have a half dozen lovely books half read  (one of my problems, possibly a symptom, is that I think I can end a book better than the author did.)

I even bore Niki.  But I do walk her every day,

Love, peace and joy, to all.