This evening Dianne was taken by ambulance to the ER, then to ICU. Pneumonia, on top of everything else. Problem is, we get so used to her feeling weak and sick that I sometimes don't pay attention when something really urgent happens. She lay down for a nap and when she woke I went to help her out of bed and we struggled for twenty minutes trying to get her into the wheel chair. Not too unusual. But today she was so weak that I was doing all the work and I wasn't strong enough. She ended up on the floor which is not something we can deal with alone. The neighbors are used to running over a couple times a year to lift her into her chair. But this time she was pale and unresponsive, lips and fingertips were blue, so I called 911. By the time they got here (five minutes over slick roads!) Dianne was semi-alert and unwilling to go to the hospital. "It costs so much." But she had no idea how unresponsive she had been a few minutes earlier. I said it might be a good idea to make sure she was o.k. She is tougher than she looks. the stats on her look really bad, but she is much healthier than the numbers indicate. The pulmonologist wanted to put her on a ventilator! Thank goodness she reniged. She is going to be o.k.; just another backward step to make the next step forward more interesting and rewarding. But this sort of thing really makes me feel helpless and incompetent and scared. Unless we are lucky enough to go together, someday I will probably lose her. But by this time Friday, things will be back to normal and she will have benefitted from a couple days of good professional medical care.