November 25th, 2009

Summary: part I

With Thanksgiving coming up, I remember that one of my earliest posts made reference to Thanksgiving. That means I have kept this journal going for over a year (fourteen months to be less imprecise). I thought it might be fun to take a look back:

FRIENDS: Autistic people don't have many friends; they are not a good mix with other autists; they don't know how to make friends; they don't recognizer gestures of friendship as such when they are proffered. There are probably some people I think are my friends who are not; there are probably many who regard me as a friend and I don't recognize it. In my lifetime there have been, oh, maybe. tem people of whose friendship I was fairly certain over a significant period of time. I have mentioned three of them in my journal, my spouse, Dianne, my sensei,Bob (who is demented in Kentucky), and Mary W. (who was killed this year by a careless driver). To name any others, I wo8ld have to go back sixty years to high school. I now have TWENTY-ONE "mutual friends" on live journal. I met amaebi about two months into my journal, and since then TWENTY (well, actually 19) others have chosen to add me. At least three of these feel like real friends (and there are probably others--see qualifying remarks above) abendstille ,. amaebi , and reginaterrae seem to care about me and treat my posts with respect and compassion. I'm sorry, I'm sure I have left people out. In addition three people who have chosen not to friend me have allowed me access their interesting and helpful jounals. More later, love and peace and joy to all.

Summary: part II

JOURNALLING: The experience of keeping a journal has been an adventure. Every one who writes has a different way of doing it. Some people dictate for later transcription; others use an old typewriter that has been in the family for years; others write in longhand on a yellow legal pad. I never imagined that my preferred medium would be the word processor. When I sit in front of an electronic keyboard and put my fingers on the keys, something mysterious happens. I'm not arrogant enough to say its good, but it is much better than I would have expected. Words, sentences, ideas, appear on the monitor almost without being willed. I am pleasantly surprised by what I see on the screen in front of me. Sometimes I look around to make sure the devil is not peering over my should, that I have not made some satanic deal to have the ability to express ideas in words. I am amazed that I have kept this process going for over a year and contually come up with things to write about.

JOURNAL: i have posted 209 times, that's almost 4 times a week over the past year. Half the posts have been sharing the words of others that impressed me; mostly poems from poetry-chaikhana. The other hundred, about two per week, were expressions of my perceptions, fears and hopes. thirty-six were headed "Generic meditation Issues;" it is only now in retrospect that I can see the meaning of that collection of posts. I think I was trying to take aspects of the contemplative process and cleanse them of cultural and dogmatic trappings to make them more useful to someone who wanted to follow the via negativa. With this hindsight, I think I would have written most of them differently, eliminated some entirely, and used the heading to introduce some of the posts that were not so included. Another fifteen posts were headed: "The world according to me." I was rather pleased with these posts until I hit the 3rd century ad at which time my ignorance of medieval history and world history got in the way of thoughfful and interesting ideas.

Incidentally, I notice that I received about 330 comments on my posts while making about 945 comments on other peoples posts.
Hmmm. I think that means something, but I'm not sure what?