December 3rd, 2008

Writer's Block: Be Prepared

We live in uncertain times. Earthquakes, hurricanes, the ever-present threat of zombies—do you have a disaster plan ready in case one of these things happens to you?
My plan for the end of life as I know it is to convert to stoicism (or maybe Christianity, Islam,  Hinduism,  Buddhism.or gnosticism) .  Since, according to these traditions, my real self cannot be affected without my consent; I simply will not consent to being affected by the end of the world, etc.  I am not as ruthless as an earthquake, as intelligent as a terrorist, nor as persistent as a Zombie'; so I really have no other course of action.  My soul is now safely sealed in a lead-lined lockbox traveling at twice the speed of light toward the next creation.  Since souls, as I understand them, are weightless and volumeless, there should be room for about 7 billion more of you if anyone cares to join me.  If this doesn't work, well, as the Lakota used to say: "It is a good day to die."