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Aftershocks.

I read my brother's online obituary roday and learned two things:

1)  At the time of his death he was in Assisted Living.

2) My sister, Jean,  is also dead.  

I talked to my brother's wife on the phone tonight.  She is in  deeo grief.
She told me that Carl began having a series of strokes beginning in May 2015.
He was taken to the emergency room five or six times.
Finally in November, they went into assisted living.  He conrinued ro have strokes and bounce back.    
He was working out on Feb 5th and died the next morning.

She also told me that Jeanie died "two or three years ago of cancer."  They did not find out abour unril "after the fact."  I thought i was out of touch because  of my autism.  The fact is that were not a closely knit family.  Each went his or her own way.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
elainegrey
Feb. 17th, 2016 04:59 am (UTC)
So sorry to hear of your losses -- holding you and your brother's wife in the Light.
bobby1933
Feb. 17th, 2016 05:07 am (UTC)
Thank you, Judith
amaebi
Feb. 17th, 2016 03:26 pm (UTC)
Oh, that must feel strange.

Though my degree of separation from my mother and sister has only felt like relief to me, so likely I don't know what I'm talking about.
bobby1933
Feb. 17th, 2016 06:58 pm (UTC)
For me, relief (esp. re parents and sister) mixed with low but varying degrees of guilt.
amaebi
Feb. 17th, 2016 08:23 pm (UTC)
*useless handpat*
bobby1933
Feb. 17th, 2016 09:28 pm (UTC)
Never useless. Thank you. :)
(Deleted comment)
bobby1933
Feb. 17th, 2016 07:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the sympathy,
sorry about the empathy. :)
opakele
Feb. 18th, 2016 03:10 am (UTC)
Wow. I'm so sorry.

Be good to yourself.
bobby1933
Feb. 19th, 2016 10:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Stephanie. :)
davesmusictank
Feb. 18th, 2016 04:17 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear of your losses.
bobby1933
Feb. 19th, 2016 10:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you,
dalaruan
Feb. 19th, 2016 07:31 pm (UTC)
silence
"The fact is that were not a closely knit family. Each went his or her own way."

I think I know what you mean with this lack of family sense. I experienced something similar 2013, when I happend to hear of my brother-in-law's death. My eldest sister, his wife, told nobody about his stroke, about his illness, the coma and his death - neither us, her sisters, nor his children, from his former marriage. She was forced by her lawyer to publish an orbituary in the local newspaper and so we learned about his death. But he was buried in secret, his children had no chance to be at the funeral. When I called her and asked why she didn't tell us, she said (not unfriendly, just as a matter of fact) "That's nothing you tell everybody." - "So I'm 'everybody?" I replied. And she said: "You know what I mean." Yes, I knew: In our family illness, death, sorrow, fear etc. are strictly private. You never speak about it. Because there was no-one you could trust.

My sympathy, bobby1933
bobby1933
Feb. 19th, 2016 10:30 pm (UTC)
Re: silence
Thank you.

And thank you for the personal note.
It helped me feel less odd.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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